Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Bun head.

Today I wore my hair like this:
Husband very rarely ever comments on my choice of hair styles.  Ponytail, not a word.  Curly, not a word.  Straight, not a word.  But buns...buns he is quite adamant about.  And I'm not talkin' about those cute little round things that make my departing such a treat.  I'm talking hair on top of the head because you didn't wash it that morning, buns.  He is quite vehement in his dislike of all things bun-like.  It doesn't matter the style, if it's all bunched together, he's opposed.  He says it's too severe and makes me look mean.  So I try to keep that in mind when I'm trying to tame my mane in the mornings, but this morning was just a bun sort of day.
I've always thought he was a little ridiculous in his views of the topknot, but today at work me and the guys were talking and someone made the comment "don't mess with Julie Anna, she's got a bun on her head."  I was like, what the heck?!  Apparently all males share this dislike of bunyular hairstyles (yes I did just make that word up.)
So on the way home from work today, I was traveling on my merry way, going about 30mph because of "traffic" when I see a State Trooper behind me.  Now let's just say, I have a bad track record with cops.  Every time I have gotten pulled over, I have tried a different method of weaseling my way out of a ticket.  I've tried crying, I've tried flirting, I've tried being angry, I've tried telling them I have a degree in Criminal Justice (trying to find common ground, you see). But nothing has ever worked!  (and no, I haven't gotten 4 tickets....close though).  So today, when I go to turn onto my road, I notice that the Trooper follows me.  And then it hits me, my brake light is out.  I've known this for a couple of weeks, but always forget to go get a new bulb, because hello, I don't ever see my brake light for it to remind me.  And if I do, I better call the cops 'cause somebody's done taken my truck! (This southern vernacular will become important in just a second)  Right after that realization, I see the lights in my rear view mirror.  And then another thought hits me.  Oh crap!  My hair is in a bun!  He's going to think I'm mean and give me a ticket just because my hair is in a bun!  So I thought about ripping the pins and rubber bands out and letting my hair down, a la herbal essence commercial lady, but then I was like well no, because then he'll think I'm just trying to use my feminine wiles to get out of a ticket!  Ahhh!  So I just plastered on a huge smile and when he came to my window, I somehow verbalized the most southern bell accent anyone has probably ever heard.  Trooper: "Ma'am your brake light is out"  Me: "Oh shoot, is it really?  Well my goodness, I guess I'm going to need to get that fixed aren't I"?  Worked like a charm.  Actually, he was really a nice guy, definitely the nicest Trooper I have met, and he didn't give me a ticket.  He didn't even take my license back to the car like they do to try to get your blood pressure really high.  He even pulled out and stopped traffic so I could get back on the road.  So there, men of the world!  The bun did work!  Or maybe sounding like I was straight off of Steel Magnolias did, never can tell. :)


Teresa Close said...

Oh my goodness!!!! Too funny!!!!

Anonymous said...

wish I could have been with you when this happened. It did make for a great laugh. Did you know your Great Grandmother "Julie" also, wore her hair like that every day of her life. I bet she was looking down and smiling the whole time this little incident was happening! Love you, Nan