Today as I was preparing for day 5 of my quest towards a 5k, I decided to wear some capri length tight running pants that reveal all of those unsightly lumps and bumps that cause my rear end to look like a slab of braille for a bind person to read. I decided on these gosh awful things because a. it was too hot to wear long pants, and b. running shorts get that chub rub thing going on between the thighs, causing the shorts to ride up. None of these options are attractive, besides maybe loose sweat pants, but I was sweating just thinking about wearing pants, and decided for the lesser of the two remaining evils.
So I walk through the living room, dreading running and I pass husband in his chair. His 6'2" tall, naturally skinny body relaxing in a big cushy chair. And he looks at me and says "are those my pants?!" It should be noted that he has a pair of baggy athletic pants with the same coloring, but they are made to suit his tall, skinny frame. I looked at him, and said "do these LOOK like they're your pants?" (in that smart alec tone I use so well) along with a dramatic pinching and releasing of the fabric, to emphasize their tight elastic evilness. He just looked at me and said "uh, yeah." So I shook my head and left.
And as I was running, I came up with the decision, that my husband either thinks that a. I am taller and fatter than he is, thus causing his normally loose and floor length pants to be really tight highwaters on me, and b. he still does not realize that the tone of voice I used in my question means he should back quickly away from an affirmative answer.
Nothing he could have said would have motivated me more to run. Here's to spandex!