Friday, February 3, 2012

What I want for Valentine's Day

So normally I wait until Timothy is half asleep to have important conversations where I want to buy something/go somewhere/ win an argument.  In past experiences, he usually just cedes to what I want in his half asleep stupor, because if not I just beg incessantly and get really annoying.  So for the sake of getting me to shut up so he can fall back asleep, he exasperatedly says fine, ok, sure, or some other variation of an affirmative response, and I drift off into dreamland thinking of the wonderful thing I'm going to get to buy/do/gloat about being right over.  Upon waking, I automatically start detailing my plan to buy/do the thing he unwittingly agreed to a mere 8 hours earlier, and if he starts to argue, I just say but honey, remember last night you said I could?  Occasionally, I win.  Ever wonder how I got a gecko?  Well, there's your answer.
After viewing that video I linked to on my post last night (credit for the discovery of that video goes to another blogger, The Blogess) of the hedgehog taking a bath, I naturally decided that my next pet has to be a hedgehog.  So I waited.  And waited.  And waited.  Until I knew Timothy was right on the precipice of sleep.  And I pounced!  Here's roughly how that conversation went:

Me: Hey!  Hey!  (poking his shoulder 'till he wakes) Will you get me a hedgehog for Valemtimes Day?  (and yes I did replace the n's with m's thinking I would sound cuter, and thus procure a hedgehog)

Timothy:  (with a confused face and a laugh)  No.

Me:  But whyyyy not?
Timothy:  Because

Me:  But then I could play with it in a tub of water, and it would be cute!
Timothy:  No

Me:  Why?!  (I thought about saying "you never let me have anything I want!!!  But that only works on moms)
Timothy:  Because they have pinchers (proof that he was half asleep)

Me:  (with a reeeeeally confused look)  What?

Timothy:  I mean those spikey things
Me:  They're not procupines.  They don't have hard spikey things

Timothy:  Quills, that's what they're called.  The babies might have soft ones, but the adults will hurt you
Me:  (seeing a chance to extol some of the perks of owning a hedgehog)  Oh the babies are so cute!!!  They're like this big  (uses palm of hand to pantomime holding a teeny tiny hedgehoglet, and then petting it on the head with one finger)

Timothy:  (laughs)  No they're not!

Me:  Yes they are!  Give me your phone, I'll show you a picture.

Timothy:  No, it's charging

Me:  Well they really are that small

Timothy:  Whatever, they'll quill you to death (now fully awake)

Me:  No they won't!

Timothy:  Yes huh, look it up 

Me:  Give me your phone and I will!

Timothy:  No, go to bed.
Me:  Pleeeease get me a hedgehog!  He would be so squishy!  And he'd be like the hedgehog in that video, so happy and flipping around and stuff!

Timothy:  I'm not getting you a hedgehog.  You have a gecko and a cat already.
Me:  Well then can I have a ferret instead?  I've always wanted a ferret.

Timothy:  No, I might as well get you a sewer rat.  Ferrets are gross.
Me:  Ok, what about a slow loris?  (ok, side note...if you don't know what a slow loris is, go and watch this video of a slow loris with an umbrellaRight now!  Please pay particular attention to this thing's face between the 0:20 and 0:30 second mark.  I laugh so hard at this that I cannot breath.)

Timothy:  No

And this goes on for about 5 more minutes with me listing off about 10 more equally ridiculous pet options.  
Needless to say, I totally lost that fight, so me and my pouty lip just went to bed.  Well today I said "I'm gonna get on wikipedia and prove him wrong, that these cute little hedgehogs wouldn't hurt me!"

And fail.

According to wikipedia:
"Hedgehogs are easily recognized by their spines, which are hollow hairs made stiff with keratin.  Their spines are not poisonous or barbed and, unlike the quills of a porcupine, cannot easily be removed from the hedgehog.  However, spines normally come out when a hedgehog sheds baby spines and replaced them with adult spines.  This is called "quilling"....A defense that all species of hedgehogs possess is the ability to roll into a tight ball, causing all of the spines to point outwards."

At least I was right about the little babies being so small.  This is a baby hedgehog (photo credit to here)
But apparently my cute little baby hedgehog would grow up to be a mean and spikey hedgehog.  And it would quill me to death.  Maybe.

1 comment:

Teresa Close said...

If you will come back home to live I will get you a hedgehog!!! LOL